Making friends can be difficult for children, especially as they get older. Kids often feel shy, insecure or scared when it comes to making new friends. As a parent, it’s important to help your child develop their social skills and build their self-confidence so they can make meaningful connections with others. There are a number of ways you can help your child make and keep friends, from teaching them the basics of conversation to helping them join clubs and activities. With your support, your child will be well-equipped to form strong friendships that will last a lifetime.
What are the benefits of having friends?
Making and keeping friends is an important part of growing up. Having a strong network of friends can provide many benefits for your child, including: Self-esteem: Having friends can boost your child’s self-esteem and help them feel more confident and positive about themselves. Friends also provide support, so your child can lean on them when they are feeling anxious or down. Friendship skills: Making friends helps your child learn valuable friendship skills, such as how to be supportive, respectful, and empathetic toward others. Social skills: Having friends teaches your child basic social skills, like how to hold a conversation, listen, and ask questions. Problem-solving skills: Friends can help your child think of solutions to problems and overcome obstacles.
Teaching your child the basics of conversation
Making friends begins with being able to hold a conversation. At a basic level, conversation is about sharing things you have in common with others. You might think of it as a three-legged stool: You share something about yourself, the other person shares something about themselves, and then you respond to that by sharing something about yourself. This might sound a bit like an interview, but if you master the basics, it will come naturally. The most important thing to remember is to be genuinely interested in the other person — this is the key to holding a conversation. And remember, not every conversation will result in a new friend. Sometimes it’s just nice to have someone to talk to. There are a few key things you can focus on to help your child develop their conversation skills. Firstly, encourage your child to ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to talk more. These are questions that can’t be answered with a “yes” or “no”. Secondly, help your child find things they have in common with the other person, whether it’s a hobby, sport, or even a common interest. And lastly, give your child some tips on how to avoid awkward silences. If they are struggling to think of something to say, they can always fall back on a standard icebreaker, such as asking the other person a question.
Encouraging your child to join clubs and activities
If your child is still struggling to make friends, they might benefit from joining a club or activity with others their own age. Joining clubs and activities can help your child meet new friends, improve their social skills, and build their self-confidence. It also gives them something positive to focus on outside of school. There is a wide range of clubs and activities available in your community, such as sports teams, music lessons, community service clubs, and art classes. You can also look online for virtual clubs and online forums where kids can connect with each other. If you live near a college or university, your child might be able to join clubs or activities on campus. This can be a great way for your child to make friends in a new environment. When helping your child find an activity, keep in mind their interests and skills. They might prefer a club where they can use their strengths or skills, such as a robotics club for kids who like to build things. They might also prefer an activity that gives them a chance to develop a new skill, such as a cooking class. You can also look for clubs that encourage kids to give back to the community, such as a nature club that cleans up a local park. These clubs can help your child feel good about what they are doing, while also helping them meet new friends.
Teaching your child to be a good listener
If your child wants to make friends, they also need to know how to listen to others. Being a good listener can help your child connect with others and show that they are interested in what the other person has to say. It also helps them avoid common mistakes, such as talking too much, which can be a turn-off for others. When your child is engaged in a conversation, they should focus on listening attentively. This means they should be fully engaged in the conversation, without looking bored or distracted. They should also be mindful of their body language and avoid poor listening habits like fidgeting, interrupting, or staring off into the distance. There are a few things you can do to help your child be a better listener. Firstly, encourage your child to ask questions that show they are engaged in the conversation. Secondly, help your child avoid distractions while they are listening. This means turning off their phone, leaving their laptop behind, and paying attention to their surroundings.
Helping your child build self-confidence
Making friends can help your child build their self-confidence, but your child also needs to feel good about themselves. This means helping your child build their self-esteem, manage their emotions, and feel proud of who they are. Helping your child feel good about themselves is a critical part of the process, especially when they are trying to make friends and get used to a new environment. You can help your child boost their confidence by: Praising your child when they do something well. Encouraging your child to set meaningful goals and be proud of their accomplishments. Teaching your child how to manage their emotions, like anger or frustration. Teaching your child how to forgive themselves and try again when they make a mistake.
Teaching your child how to be assertive
Making friends is not always easy and sometimes your child might come up against someone who is not so friendly. If your child is trying to make friends and they are being ignored or are facing unkind behavior from others, they might need to learn how to be assertive. Being assertive is a healthy way for your child to stand up for themselves and ask for what they want or need. It’s a skill that many adults wish they had, so it’s important to teach it to your child from a young age. Being assertive is all about standing up for yourself in a respectful way without being aggressive. There are a few key things you can do to help your child be more assertive: Talk to your child about the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Help your child come up with a plan for how to be assertive in different situations. For example, how do they ask to be seated at a different table in the cafeteria if they don’t like where they have been put? Role-play different scenarios with your child to help them practice being assertive.
Teaching your child how to deal with rejection
Being assertive also includes being prepared for the possibility that others might be unkind or even reject your child. While rejection can be painful, it’s important to help your child learn how to deal with it appropriately. You can help your child manage the feelings of rejection by: Explaining to your child that it’s normal to feel rejected when someone says “no” to them. Rejection can be a painful feeling, but with time and distance, it will often fade away. Talking to your child about the difference between rejection and failure. Just because someone doesn’t want to be friends with them, it doesn’t mean they have failed. Role-playing different scenarios where your child might experience rejection. You can practice ways they can cope with their emotions and move forward.