When it comes to social skills, kids need all the help they can get. In fact, a national crisis in confidence is brewing among young people today. This generation of kids is coming of age at a time when self-esteem and digital images have reached an all-time high. The result? Many young people feel pressured to look or act a certain way and lack the tools to see things from another person’s perspective and judge what is balanced or realistic as opposed to idealistic or distorted. But while this may seem like a lot to tackle, there are ways that you can build confidence in your kids that will last them through adulthood—and maybe even save their lives one day. Here are some ways you can build confidence in your kid:
Talk to your kid about the things they’re good at
When parents ask kids what they want to be when they grow up, it’s not uncommon for kids to say they want to be a teacher or a doctor. But when parents push further and ask why they want to be one of these occupations, they often get a “because it helps people.” This isn’t a bad thing, but it does show that kids may not have a strong grasp of what they’re really good at. Building a strong foundation of self-worth starts with recognizing those things that make each person unique. This is especially important for kids who are struggling with their confidence or who have been bullied. Often, kids who are struggling with confidence need a reminder of their individual strengths. What are they good at that they can point to? If your child already has low self-esteem, this can be a way to shut down bullying in school. If a classmate says something about your son or daughter, you can say something like, “Hey, this is my son/daughter. He/she is really good at _______. This is why he/she is doing that.” For kids who are already confident, this can be the first step to them helping their peers with low self-esteem.
Help them connect with their passions
One of the first things to go when your self-esteem dips is your passion. Passion is something you’re inherently good at and want to pursue. It’s often connected to a specific goal that you want to accomplish. Building confidence in kids starts with helping them reconnect with their passions. This is how you discover what you really want to do in life. And when you’re passionate about something, it shows in the way you engage with the world and how you treat the people around you. When everything is going wrong, you can look to your passions to get you through the day. When you feel like you don’t belong or you don’t have any friends, your passions are an indescribable feeling that ties you to the world in a way that is uniquely yours.
Show them the value of helping others
One of the best ways to build confidence in kids is by helping them realize that being kind to others is the best way to build up their self-worth. When kids realize that their actions can benefit others, it gives them a purpose in life and shows them that they can make a real difference in the world. When you see the difference you can make, it’s easy to forget about the things you’re not great at. Building confidence in kids means showing them how to put others first. Research has shown that the more you help others, the happier you feel. What kind of things can you do to help others? Can you donate your time to a cause or charity? Can you help your neighbors with chores they need done? Can you help your own parents by pitching in with the housework? Building confidence in kids doesn’t have to be a difficult task. By helping them connect with their passions and showing them the value of helping others, you’re not only building self-worth in your child but also fostering a culture of kindness in your home.
Celebrate their small wins
There are plenty of times in life when you have to find the positives in negatives. This can be especially true when you’re struggling with self-esteem and confidence. After you’ve resolved to build confidence in your child, you need to stay consistent with your efforts throughout their lifetime. Celebrating your child’s small wins shows that you’re paying attention and that they are making progress. It’s easy when you’re in the middle of a hectic day to forget how hard your child is working. When your child succeeds, no matter how small the victory, point it out. Be specific about what they did well and how their actions contributed to the win. You can also celebrate your child’s small wins by acknowledging any small improvements they’re making in their life. By acknowledging these small improvements, you help your child acknowledge the efforts they’ve made to improve their life.
Bottom line
Building confidence in kids starts with talking to them about the things they’re good at, helping them connect with their passions, showing them the value of helping others, and celebrating their small wins. These are the four pillars of building up your self-esteem. By following these four pillars, you can help your child build confidence that will last them through adulthood and beyond.